Mental harassment and financial insecurity after marriage
Hi all, can some one help me regarding my problem. I am married for 7 months now. It was a arranged marriage. My husband prior to marriage he told he was a manager in a private firm. But I have noticed he is not working after couple of months of marriage. However, he joined a private firm as a salesman. He was hiding the fact that he is a salesman and later I have come to know(with low salary). I didn't say anything, as I don't want to degrade him. His father passed away when he is 15 years old. From then he started working (his mother supported him financially (like tailoring). He have two sisters. One is married to a rich person (it's a love marriage).And a younger sister is with us(who is yet to be married). She is a recent graduate just started working. I am a finance professional working in an mnc bpos from past 5 years. I work in night shifts and my husband and MIL know this. My problem is with both my Husband and mother in law. They are very stingy. They treat me like outsider. My husband told me he have some loans(due to our marriage) to pay. and I give him my salary without any questions. I asked him a 10% of my salary for my monthly expenses. But he refused and gives me 6 %. It was all good earlier, when my husband and younger sis in law not working (Couple of months) after my wedding. I was the only one working for first two months. Now, everything is changed. My MIL taunts me for everything. She claims that I don't do any work at home. (It was agreed that she will handle the working days and I need to help her on weekends) I got adjusted to a lot of rituals at my in laws place. MIL started torturing me for not folding the clothes(very silly reasons). My husband always supports his mother. She will about at my husband for my problems. He will call me when am at work and shouts at me. Im a too sensitive woman. I start crying at office. This has become a regular drama, I told mil to tell me directly anythjng. She only speaks third degree language. Some words I don't understand. Now, she started calling me when am at work and shouts at me and use all third degree slangs towards my parents also. Due to this mental torture, I could not perform well and now management decided to cancel my employment. MIL is not bothered about this. My husband needs money so he always force me to work( his loans and his sister marriage) etc. And he will never admit that I support him financially. They refused for maid also when I asked them. Again the same story got repeated, she shouted at him. He shouted at me stating becasue of u I feel like dying. For god sake why did I married u and all. I told him I will go to my mom's place for some days. She rejected. Then my father came and took me to my mom's place. It's been two weeks am at my mom's place. He did not contact me. I only called him, then he responded very vague. He have Lot of influence of her mother on him. She just say everything negative about me and my parents. They scold me and my parents for not fulfilling their financial needs ( other than dowry). They want in form of gifts for every occasion. Which my parents cannot afford. What should I do in this situation. I had a lot of dreams about my married life, now all my feelings are dead. I cannot buy anythjng what I like, I need their approval what I should wear n all. I really feel like breaking my wedding. My parents are saying that's it destiny you will have to handle. Talk to your husband. But he do t listen to me if I ask him to come out n live separately. Since he is the only son, mil and sister in law cannot live by themselves. (Need a man at home). Any way to explain to my mil and husband To consider me as a human being. And live the way I like to.
You seem to be very sensitive. Be strong to deal with the situation. Firstly stop giving your salary. Let him understanding the situations. Maintenance of household and issue of marriage of your sister in law is not your concern but are the concern of your husband. Since your sister in law has also started earning let her contribute. Stop tolerating the ill behaviour of your husband and other family members. You have every right to live with dignity. Be confident. If required donot hesitate to call the police for help. Siddharth , 9811776422
Hi ramya, from all the information provided by you it seems u have not done proper enquiry before marriage. Now you have to decide wheather u want to continue in this relation or would separate. Unless u decide to separate ur husband attitude will not change, contact if u are in Noida.
Legal remedy always in favour of the Wife. COurt can't give you peace and happyness, except money and divorce.
Better to understand each and other. Nobody knows about the next one.
Since you had married just 7 months back, you require some more time to understand the situation. But the situation never changes but you have to adjust to the situation without asking any further questions. If you do not surrender to your husband and mother in law there is every possibility of break down of marriage. Take a decision at this initially stage either to continue or to seek divorce. Commercial agreement of sharing of salary does not work out.
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